Gatorguy, you have come to a discussion group to ask STRANGERS about how you should plot the course of your most intimate life.
Unlike others here who back away from the issue by saying they are "unqualified" to offer advice, I can assure you that >I< am "fully qualified" to offer MY OPINION, because:
1. I am a stranger to you, and as I said, you sought the advice of strangers
2. No one else here knows what MY OPINION is, only I know that
3. I have been criticized here as a "self-appointed elder" by persons who appointed themselves to criticize ME. See the irony there?
So here you go; MY OPINION is that because you are already thinking of finding a new mate, that is exactly what you should do. Leave this relationship! You have no cosmic obligation to stick to a BAD DECISION. You are not required to sacrifice your peace of mind and self respect for the rest of your breathing days on this earth in an effort to be someone else's easter bunny.
Having kids to fix an unhappy marriage NEVER works. Any kids produced from an unloving union will be prisoners of your bad decision even more than you are.
That is what I think you should do. Now the ball is back in your court; what will you do?